So I joined a gym.

With 2 under fives and housekeeping duties not diminishing in the least, I have managed to take on one more thing into my super crowded schedule. A 90 minute fitness regimen five days a week. It’s been 4 weeks and  I have so far missed not a single work out. I hope it lasts – since I have signed up for a year.

But it had got to a point where I felt that I simply had to do something by myself for myself. I am writing this post mainly for all those women who just cannot or will not find time to add a serious fitness routine to their lives. Ever since I had my second child a little over 10 months ago, life was beginning to resemble a roller coaster pretty closely. All day and all night was usually filled with activity for one kid or the other, the house or sundry other things. Sleep was sporadic, rest rare, organized exercise nil, meals regular but much after the hunger pangs struck, and a constant feeling of being crushed under the weight of the world, of being constantly breathless and just not strong enough to fulfill all the duties that I seemed to have signed up for. Yes – there is a bit of glory in being the mother of 2 kids – one of them a small baby. But I was becoming more and more unfit to be an able mother or able anything else for that matter. Many days were spent feeling dizzy – for large parts of the day. Sleep was not leading to rest or rejuvenation of any sort. And not just the body but my mind  began to have more and more vacant periods, absent-mindedness became a daily occurrence. It all culminated in my feeling like a victim – someone who is under appreciated, over worked and always needing to be on the defensive for things done/not done/done but not properly/things forgotten and so on. Somewhere I knew that I had to help myself come out of the victim state of mind – but I just kept getting more and more into it.

That is when the better half (Big P) stepped in. He figured that since I was unfit physically, I would likely be unfit mentally and it is becoming a vicious cycle. He pushed me to start an organized fitness routine. My first reaction to it was, ” You must be mad! When can I possibly fit that in – I have too much to do as it is!” But he was inexorable. Having taken up running a couple of years ago after years of sporadic exercising, he is a big one on fitness and the consistent need for it. It took a while for him to get into the right track – but now that he has he is a firm believer. He is a recent convert though – a little over two years ago he was one of those who would gorge on fairly unhealthy food, normal food in larger quantities than he needed and did not see the need to add exercise to his busy schedule. It all changed for him when a close family member was struck by a chronic disease which should ideally strike much later in life if at all. He began by disciplining himself on the quantity of food he would consume – nearly brought it down by a third, in fact. He then joined a group which trains for running and started in right earnest and is currently training for his 3rd or 4th half-marathon. Commendable, I think.

And of course I know he is right. Our lifestyles are setting us up for all sorts of chronic diseases like hypertension, diabetes, heart trouble and what not. Whatever we do, we just cannot eat healthy all the time – there is just too much processed component in our food and just too much available – so no rationing ever is required or practiced. Add to that the high stress that seems to be a part of all our lives and the lack of consistent exercise, it won’t be a surprise if at 40 we are much worse off than our parents were at that age. For me, while all this was true, the fact that I was feeling loaded beyond capacity with my two young children was a wake up call. After all, so many people spend their lives looking after a home and two children and a job and are none the worse for it. If I was not able to handle just half of their responsibilities at 36, then I really did need help fairly quickly.

And I got it. I joined a women’s gym where I am closely guided by qualified physiotherapists working as trainers. I signed up for a year fully cognizant of the fact that fitness is a lifetime affair – not a 3 month package at the end of which you are fit and happy for life (I wish). For the first time, I really know how to use those machines in the right way as well as how much to use them. And also for the first time my progress is being monitored in flexibility levels, stamina and energy levels and co-ordination of limbs apart from the usual inches and kgs. I can actually see my stamina increase and feel so much better about life and everything it offers. It really changes your outlook to life if you are not tired all the time or mostly feel unattractive in your mind. Even big P says that I have become more sprightly. So things really are looking up.

However, I must add a word of caution – it’s just not easy to be regular with your workouts.  I have to literally squeeze every minute that I have in the morning to finish all that I need to before hitting the gym. Some days I am a few minutes too late to pick up my daughter from the bus stop, some days I am little too late to feed my son. And i am fairly dependent on a complex system of family and household help to make me accomplish my goal of remaining fit. But as long as I have support I intend to use it when I need it. I refuse to be a martyr or one of those people who want to be independent and refuse to ask for help at any cost. After all my health is at stake here. And I have had to give up quite a few things – regular chats with my friends and family, blogging, reading etc. But hopefully as time goes by I will be faster at what I do and be able to work all these back in my schedule.

The one thing  – let’s say the two things that have been absolutely priceless for me – my innate sense of commitment and constant aggressive support by big P. Without these I may not have been able to manage even these many days of workouts.

Let’s hope I stay on track. And let’s hope that I am able to inspire a few other women to start off this long postponed critical activity.

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